Read Only Friday: A Collection of Humor

Read Only Friday is a practice that a number of IT departments in large organizations are adopting. It is the idea that on a Friday, no major changes (and in some cases includes minor changes) are made at all. This decreases the probability that anything will go wrong over the weekend and require the services of the on call admin.

This means that on Friday there is typically a full compliment of systems administrators who are sitting around at their desks with a limited supply of tasks they can work on. That tends to also mean that they are bored on the internal IRC channel, providing an increased dosage of humorous banter with each other, and with the developers who are tired and ready to check out for the week.

I decided to collect some of the more amusing samples, and have taken efforts to obscure names of people, servers and projects. In some cases they may not have come from that IRC channel, but from one of the many I frequent which are full of nerds.

As a final side note, most of these aren’t from Fridays. They have been gathered over several months and on various days of the week. (I never said sysadmins were ONLY funny on Fridays..)

<dev> syadmin, in my notes from our meeting yesterday, I have: ‘learn to use math, “averages”‘ do you have pointers on where I can look to read up on these topics?
<dev> maybe there’s like a seminar or conference on “averages” ?
<dev> πŸ™‚
<dev> our training budget is running low but this sounds like an important skill


<syadmin1> smells like untrusted input and no validation. πŸ™‚
<syadmin2> sure does. You can trust me, I’m a DBA
<dev> exactly. and he checked a checkbox that says something like “ONLY USE FOR TESTING. DO NOT USE IN PRODUCTION”
<dev> on a read-only friday


<sysadmin> I am a bearded lesbian with pitbulls?
<sysadmin> I had no idea…
<sysadmin> Whoa. that changes everything.


<syadmin1> dev1, dev2: I’m extending app database. You guys can fight about the bill
<syadmin1> syadmin2: ^^
<syadmin2> no
<syadmin2> they can clean up their storage first. too many 1’s and 0’s being wasted there. πŸ™‚
<syadmin1> okay
<syadmin1> yeah, why are they storing the zeros AND the ones?
<syadmin2> no clue
<syadmin1> it seems like a lack of a 1 is good enough to indicate a 0
<dev3> the zeros shouldn’t even take up any space
<dev3> it’s 0
<me> perhaps you need to balance your data better then, too many 1s and not enough 0s?
<syadmin1> it seems like you could make a map
<syadmin1> where you let X = 0 and Y = 1, and then substitute them
<syadmin1> like a hash map
<syadmin1> would save a ton of space


<dev> really?
<dev> lt, pgt, st, tgt? those are the names of your tables?
<dev> sheesh
<syadmin> can someone hack together a simple keepalive please?
<dev> well we’d have to call it a application_kt in this app, it seems, syadmin
<dev> since THEY DON’T USE ENGLISH in this app


<syadmin> dev1: how’s AWS involved? : )
<dev1> it’s hosting the media server
<syadmin> interesting
<syadminboss> dev1 on who’s AWS account?
<dev2> yours syadminboss
<dev2> πŸ™‚
<dev2> $’s are ticking
<syadminboss> I don’t have a AWS account πŸ™‚
<dev2> keep right on thinking that
<dev2> until the credit card bill shows up πŸ™‚


<syadmin> interesting .. There is no memory ballooning on devenv01, vmware tools is fresh and good, stopping tools doesn’t cause load to fall…
<syadmin> certainly chewing the megagizzles cpu-wise on vcenter


<syadmin> I’m going to be taking that down and restoring from backup here shortly
<dev> someone go flip that breaker again πŸ˜‰


<dev> umm xeon E5645 how does it sound?
<dev> syadmin: ^ ?
<syadmin> probably clicks a lot
<syadmin> maybe some whirring
<syadmin> I have to expect that all of those transistors closing and opening as fast as they do probably sounds a lot a rainstorm. So I’m going with rainstorm.


<dev1> sysadmin: I don’t think so. It’s just looking at one xml file and building a huge number of ruby objects from it
<dev2> and by 1 xml file you mean 21 megs of text
<sysadmin> dev1: I don’t really see a lot of CPU burn on that box
<sysadmin> unless you’re single threaded.. ?
<dev1> yes, single threaded
<syadmin> what?!
<sysadmin> you come to me on this day, the day of my daughter’s wedding, and ask me to give you more processor time on 4-core box for your single-threaded application?!
<dev1> But Don, you have no idea how hard it is to work with this Global Interpreter Locks


<sysadmin> wow..what’s stored in that?
<dev1> logged in user details
<dev2> shouldnt it just be a few details though? the manager id and the user id?
<dev2> sounds like its the entire manager object and user object
<analyst> dev2: it’s bigger, looks like 10MB per row
<sysadmin> also their pictures and an Mp3 of them saying “Hello”
<dev2> haha

Link: “2012 vs. 1984: Young adults really do have it harder today”

I read this today, and I feel obligated to share.

All young adults who think they’re getting a raw deal in today’s economy, let me tell you about how it was back in my day.

In 1984, my final undergraduate year of university, tuition cost more or less $1,000. I earned that much in a summer without breaking a sweat.

When I went looking for a new car in 1986, the average cost was roughly half of what it is now. It was totally affordable.

Sunday Afternoon Thoughts

This is weird and rambly. I apologize in advance.

The gig today with Chasing Grace went well. It was in a very reverberated space, and very loud (not that I am one to complain about that). Good times were had.

What I’m listening to:

I’m planning a replacement/additional desktop computer to allow further self education on important IT principles.

This mattress is very comfortable. Thanks to the family who gave it to us! (I wasn’t sure if you wanted to be named or not, so erred on the side of privacy)

I am rather sweaty, and probably stinky.

I visited the train show in Harrisonburg today, and picked up a number of items. It’s still quite a culture shock compared to the model shows in New Zealand which were more about layout owners showing off their models and less about vendors. Here it’s all about Vendors selling their wares with only a couple of small layouts.

As a side note to the above, I also want to check out the local model railroad club, as I’m working during the day and might be available to attend – I just need to ensure it won’t conflict with other commitments.

Crash is doing really well at obeying commands, though he isn’t perfect. With one attempt at running away out the front door, he seemed to follow the instructions to wait, and go back inside.

I should look up Hulu and CBS and see if I’m caught up on Fringe and NCIS.

Top Gear is a fun show. Which reminds me, there is an episode we were watching the other day that needs to be finished.

Earlier this week we went out to see the circus train come through town. It was a guess as to when it would show up, but it worked out in the end. And much earlier than initially predicted. We’d been estimating as late as midnight (with unhappy looks from Kelly, with us having to be up early the next day and a 30-45 minute drive home). It showed up around 10pm where we were, and I got some bad video and unusable photos of it by the crossing we were sitting at (Look for Lynnwood on my Flickr for daylight photos from the place) then chased it North to Island Ford, filming it again poorly, and then we were alongside it (he was doing about 50-55mph, and we were creeping alongside at 55-60mph). His head end got to Elkton first, but with a more direct route and slightly higher speed limit we got to Shenandoah first (and even then, only just). Lots of waves exchanged with circus cast and crew, and generally a good time had by all.

People are coming over to watch Sherlock tonight. I’m not sure how social I feel like being, but Sherlock should balance that out.

My allergies have been bad lately. It’s annoying.

I enjoyed driving the truck today, it’s been a while. Even though I did accidentally try changing from 4th gear into (non-existent) 5th. Pretty sure it was a safety thing, but I ground a little putting it back into 4th, realized I was a little too far over still, and slotting into “R” instead. It does the same when trying to slot either into first or reverse when moving. Quickly corrected without any damage, and continued on our merry way.

Running out of things to say, probably a good thing.

Changing Timezones

Changing timezone without moving anywhere. It’s a tough assignment, but I’ve been able to do it.

Since September 2010 I’ve been working for Rosetta Stone’s test lab on the second shift, generally working somewhere in the vicinity of 5pm-midnight. In the last few days I was asked if I would be interested in swapping positions with a member of the day shift team who needed to move for personal/family reasons.

I elected to think about it, and later accepted. As of yesterday (and everyone I work with is now aware of this, so I can tell the world in full), I am a member of day shift working “normal people” hours! I’m still officially part time, so there is no change in my 35 hour limit. The only change in pay has been a result of my regular company raise (also received that notice today!) so really all that changes for me is starting in the morning and finishing in the evening, and not the other way around..