Amusing Sermon Notes

I’m listening to sermons from my old church, I helped Dad put up a podcast for them and was testing it out.

Anyway, we had a guest speaker, Pastor Tuks, who I haven’t heard of for a long time! Anyway, he had an awesome quote in the first 10 minutes:

I’m a school teacher, I’ve dealt a lot with teenagers. I wanna tell teenagers this morning, you know some teenagers think that without a girlfriend they’ll perish. Get real guys, girlfriends will come and go. You won’t perish without one. I’ve known guys who lived their whole teenage life without one. They’re fine! They never died! They’re still alive today! You know we have girls walking around thinking “If I don’t get a boyfriend I’m gonna perish.” Absolute rubbish! I was standing in a schoolyard one day, these two girls came up to me, one was crying and the other was all sympathetic and stuff, and came up to me and said “Mister, my boyfriend is being mean to me.” So I said “Well, what did he do?” and she said “He ignored me when I wanted to talk with him, he was playing table tennis. Can you go and talk to him?” and I said “I’ve got better news for you. Drop him. If he thinks a game of table tennis is more important than you, kick him into touch, girl!” And she started crying even more! I thought that was wise counsel. And she sad “Mister, you’re mean!” and I said “No, I’m not mean girl, drop him!” and she says “No I can’t!” I said “Why?” she said “Because I love him!” I said “Bollocks, girl! You don’t know what love is!” That was the end of the counseling session..