Marriage

Alot of people don’t seem to consider the following, particularly females when begging their boyfriends to propose.

Marriage doesn’t really change anything.

Marriage is a lot like turning 18 or 21, or any other age really. All that really changes are a) your religious standing as far as having sex, and b) your legal rights as a married person.

You’ll have a big lead up to the wedding, and the wedding and reception will be as big or as small as you want it to be, much like a 21st birthday party.

You’ll go to bed that night (possibly doing something you’ve never done before), and you’ll wake up the next day and feel as though nothing has changed.

I know of a few people getting married soon, and Kelly was asking for advice to give to the bride at the showers she’ll be at. This is the biggest piece of advice I could offer to anyone obsessed with getting married to their significant other (whether they’ll admit their obsession or not).

It. Doesn’t. Change. Your. Relationship.

Really.

If the relationship changes, either you or your partner changed. Which shouldn’t happen. It’s that simple.

525,600 Minutes

Turns out Rent was right. There are 525,600 minutes in a year. I always thought it was too small a number, but I just did the calculation (I was going to use the right one) but 60 x 24 x 365 = 525,600.

Anyway, I’m going off topic before I’ve even started. Today is April 18th 2009. Today marks an important day in history, for me, for my family, for Kelly and her family, and a handful of others. On this day one year ago I stepped onto Qantas flight QF2714 and flew from Wellington to Auckland, waving goodbye to my family and friends at Wellington Airport. In Auckland I walked from the domestic to the international terminal, and boarded flight QF25 bound for LAX. I haven’t seen New Zealand with my own eyes since.

I remember that all three flights that day were late. The first one was late because of mechanical problems earlier in the day that had caused delays and they were trying to get back on schedule. The second was a fault that had apparently been fixed but they were still waiting on a problem with paperwork for it. The third we had to wait at the gate at LAX for mechanics to get to us after their list of other faults to fix.

I remember walking through customs at LAX having filled out my little I-94 card, and being unsure what to write for “Country of Residence.” The customs lady walking the line checking things before we reached the officers processing us was angry at me that I didn’t know, but I truly didn’t. At that moment I didn’t live anywhere. On April 17th I resided in New Zealand. As of April 19th I would be residing in the United States. April 18th? I was homeless, as it were.

Despite all the mechanical problems and delays, I arrived in one piece at Dulles, although I was about 45 minutes late as I recall, landing at 12:30am on the 19th, walking into the arms of Kelly (followed by everyone else that was there).

People keep asking me if I miss home, and to a degree I do. It’s not so much home though, as aspects of home. I miss walking to the end of the street and getting Fish and Chips for a snack because I was bored and hungry. I miss driving to McDonalds and getting a large coke and a large chocolate thick shake for the same reason. I miss catching the bus and train to work and back every day. I miss Sunday night drives to the beach or around the bays, or somewhere else random that we wanted to go, with Sue and Amber. I miss having a cell phone, and understanding how the billing for cell and landline phones worked (I still think it’s really messed up that you have to pay to receive calls/messages etc..).

I miss driving to Paraparaumu via Paekakariki Hill one way and SH1/SH2 back for the fun of it. I miss knowing where everything in the supermarket is, and what most things are even if I haven’t had them before.

I miss the surprise of seeing Dad’s face in the window when my train pulls in to take me to work, I miss the sound of my brothers mock screams when I play a trick on him, and I miss the sound of my mother trying in vain to make me stop when she finds out what I did/was doing.

I miss having the opportunity to drive almost anywhere if I had time or money to pay for gas (and for whatever I wanted to do when I got there), ranging anywhere from watching a movie to eating dinner to going to Parachute. I miss having the contacts to do sound and lighting gigs with semi-professional companies and organizations when they needed the help.

Most of all I think I miss seeing people I know and love that I haven’t seen for a year or more, it’s nice seeing the young kids grow up through photos on Facebook etc, but it really isn’t the same.

So, what have I accomplished in my year of USA-ness? Not a lot, I fear to say. Having arrived in April 08, I was married in May 08, and filed immigration paperwork before the cut off date in July 08. In February 09 I received my Employment Authorization Card, and started applying for jobs. Of all my applications (around 30-50) I’ve had one solid lead (Summer Camp Counselor), and one official rejection (“Position has been filled”). The biggest problems I run into are experience (or lack thereof), lack of College education, and lack of US Citizenship or security clearances. I have no problem relocating 2 hours away (or commuting that far until relocation can occur), since there are practically no IT jobs in this area at the moment.

I have a drivers license (Learners permit, will sit the full test some time soon). I have fixed several computers, some for money. I helped with the church’s VBS program last year, and probably will again if I don’t get the camp job. I traveled to North Carolina for gas money to visit a long time friend and work on his church’s network. I created several new websites, including DailySerene.com, and several personal sites. I also rebuilt the websites for UCCN and C-IRC (C-IRC with the help of Ed), and developed an IRC-based trouble management system in PHP.

We bought a puppy, rented an apartment, gave up an apartment, took out a $2000 loan, moved twice, started a modern worship music section in a traditional church service, bought a guitar, taught Sunday School to High Schoolers, took several thousand photos, and had a few bad times, with lot of good times.

All in all I’m having a great time. I’m glad I moved, and while if I had to live my life again I’d probably do that part differently, I’m not at all unhappy with the way things worked out. In fact, I look forward to what the next 525 thousand-odd minutes have in store.

SilverStripe

Yesterday I made a personal site using SilverStripe, and it was my first experience with the CMS that worked. I think last time I didn’t follow the instructions or something and problems arose multiple times.

This time however, worked a treat. It’s not your average CMS, where absolutely everything is configured via a web panel and then stored in SQL. SilverStripe has the basics in SQL (Pages) and the rest is left up to the developer. Once again, a piece of software where its greatest asset is its greatest downfall, and proves, once again, that perfect all-around software does not exist. Either it’s simple for the newbies who want a good looking website, or it’s technical for developers and geeks who want a website that will do anything they ask it to with minimal fuss in breaking their entire index.php-based site with a parse error.

SilverStripe doesn’t have dynamic site names/descriptions like WordPress does. I had to go and edit that in the theme itself. Not a problem, I just need to remember to change it if I change themes.

As far as which is ‘better’, I no longer have a preference. They both do an awesome job at what they do, and I may at some point transfer the UCCN Support site to SilverStripe from WordPress. I’ll still keep the LifeCity site running WP, and probably the I-aL site running it too. WordPress is easy to install and configure, SilverStripe will probably prove easier to develop for.

Don’t take my word for it, test them and decide for yourself!

In other news, we took crash to the vet for his first-week checkup, and he’s doing really well. He weighed in at 28.2lb, and no sign (at this stage) of entropion, thus everything is probably good on that front! Going back in a couple of weeks for his shots, that won’t be such a good time for him 😉

Puppy Makes Me Sad

I posted the other day about the chickens two houses down, that we are taking care of while the owners are on holiday. They were OK yesterday, except for ONE that wouldn’t go in the chickenhouse, and we were about 30 seconds away from just leaving it outside for a few hours in the dark (or overnight) when it ran in. The white one with the brown feather is out, yet again, today, this time in a really hard-to-get-to spot, that somewhat proves she is flying out.

Anyway, the chickens are not the reason for this posting, nor are the fish we feed, or the plants. The reason for this posting is a poor Beagle that is on about a 20 foot leash tied to a tree, with a kennel and lots of grass to run on (and food, I’m assuming). The saddest part is that his lead restricts him to a specific distance from the tree, and he’s drawn part of a circle in the grass where he keeps running back and forth at the end of the leash. He also gives the saddest looks and cries when we leave, even though we barely interact with him.

Yes, I know it’s a he, as he is clearly un-neutered 😉

Now, in general I’m not a huge fan of beagles, I usually have little respect for anything smaller than a smallish lab, though the beagle is definitely too large to punt over a fence, therefore it still fits in my categorization of “dog.”

For the last couple of days I’ve been afraid to get too close in case he wasn’t as friendly as he seems, but today I got close enough to pet him and rub around his ears and he loved every second of it. It’s just a further reminder that when we do get animals, dogs especially, that I need to pay it as much positive attention as possible so that it doesn’t need some random neighborhood kids loving it for me because I couldn’t be bothered.

He’s so cute though, it makes me sad seeing him looking so sad, and hearing him cry like he does. I might take the camera over tonight when we put the chickens away and take photos of him, just to prove he exists and how sad he looks!

A New Theme

Yesterday I applied for a summer job at a Christian camp a few miles away, I’m hoping to be a counselor (leader) for the summer, should be about 10-12 weeks of having fun with kids. I’ll be staying there overnight the whole time, though Kelly will be able to come and visit when she gets off babysitting and we can have Saturdays together too. Initially she didn’t like the idea, but just kinda realized that it’ll probably be good for us and we’ll appreciate the time we do get together rather than spending every other minute in the same house.

It’ll also be nice to actually do some real work and earn some real money. Against my will, though there was nothing I could do about it, I’ve spent nearly a year in the US and not been able to work, so while it has been nice to do nothing at all, I also feel as though I’m letting down the team and taking advantage of people and their generosity. While that is the case, and to a large degree I have been, it’s not by choice, and given the chance I would have been doing a lot more to earn my keep. Also, while it is hardly IT related, I’m glad to have another stateside work reference with a real organization with standards etc. While I try to work to high standards when working with friends and family doing computer repair etc, there is hardly a gauge to measure by how well I did something.

I was also getting bored with the old theme on my blog, and felt it was time for a change here too. The photo in the header may change some until I find something I like that fits and works, but for now it is a crop of this image:

dscf06801

I took this during the Assemblies of God New Zealand National Conference in October 2007, the week I had my interview with Gen-i. A couple of the guys in the music team are jamming, in the immediate foreground are the power, video signal and communication cables for the stage roaming camera, resting on the base for one of the front speaker towers. I think Mike was programming lights, or he may have just been playing. I know I was the photographer and only touched the lighting board if it was absolutely necessary (mostly “TURN OFF NUMBER 11, TURN ON NUMBER 12” while he was wandering the stage checking things).

In other news I have successfully installed Xen on Debian, so I have a Debian Dom0. I also have a Debian DomU that I’m playing with LDAP with, in an attempt to setup a prototype for web/shell hosting. I’m trying to figure out how to create DomU’s from ISO’s under the Debian Dom0, I have some FreeBSD CD’s that I’d like to build a VM from if possible. Otherwise I can install QEMU back on the Mac and create QEMU images for Xen that way.

Also trying to debug a regex in my logcheck system on Telly. Ever since I installed IPv6 I’m getting annoying messages in the logs every hour that I’m trying to make logcheck ignore (they’re not important, thus I don’t want to see them – unlike people trying to bruteforce my SSH or Mail servers). I have one more thing to try before I go looking for help, as soon as my apt-get dist-upgrade is done (because opening a new tab and SSH’ing a new session is *so* difficult!)

{Last Minute Update!} Just had a phone call from the camp director, he’s put out all my references and is waiting to hear back, then will set up an interview next week perhaps.

I Like Chicken, I Hate Chickens

I promised in my last post that I’d explain my strong dislike of chickens.

Our friends from church, John and Debi have gone to Florida for a week with their family, and have left Kelly and I looking after their mail, several plants, 3 tanks of fish, and 26 poultry dishes waiting to happen. 2 roosters and 24 chickens, she tells me. I keep forgetting whether it’s 26 total or 26 chickens + the two roosters.

They live two doors down, so we wander down to do our duties before wandering back up. The chickens aren’t so bad, so long as they do what they are supposed to do, and it may improve this week when we can revert back to their routine. We’ve been doing things a little earlier or later than usual because of other things happening in our lives that we needed to attend to, but there are no planned events around chicken-time this week as yet.

Basically we deal with them 3 times a day. At around 9am we let them out of the chickenhouse, we give them a ‘snack’ of hotdog buns, then check for eggs and refill their food/water. This is not so bad, in the morning they’re rearing to get out of the chickenhouse, so once they’re out we shut the door to stop them getting in and then go in and do the work, opening it for them again when we’re done.

Around 12-1pm we go in and do an egg run, this is usually as simple as making sure as many chickens are in the yard as possible and shutting the door to them, and collecting the eggs. Again, not so bad.

The b***h of a job is around 4:30-5pm when we round them in for the evening. We’ll lock of the door to them and go in to check eggs, fill food/water etc, and then open it again and try and coerce nearly 30 chickens/roosters all through a small hole into the chickenhouse (which is rather crowded near the end) while trying not to let others back out. We also struggle in this time while we have to be in the pen with them, as the roosters are very protective and have begun to attack at us. I don’t like things I don’t understand (IE, chickens/roosters) and Kelly is afraid of birds flapping at her, which is what they do. The other annoyance is one white chicken (with a brown feather) that has escaped 3 days in a row, having to try and get it back in with minimal fuss.

I’m incredibly glad I didn’t have to deal with them at all today – this morning I was at the churches chicken barbecue, a very pleasing event ;-), this afternoon and evening I was asleep through both events. Kelly’s brother, Matt, gained leadership over the one rooster that was defying him by ‘hitting’ it with the stick (swinging it and nearly touching but not quite), and I need to do that if necessary, I’m just afraid I’ll hit it and hit it too hard – I don’t like dead things either!

So we shall see how it goes until Thursday when the family returns!

Dreaaaam.. Dream Dream Dream!

I had the weirdest (and historically inaccurate) dream last night.

I am going to share it here for the intrigue and amusement of any and all who read it.

Now, I don’t know how, but I travelled back in time (and location?) and ended up in 1920’s England, at the primary/elementary school of my Grandad. I had my big camera with me, which was clearly out of place (Digital camera pre 1990 is very out of place!) in the time period so I was trying to take photos and being discreet as possible.

Anyway, I was in a lunchroom kinda thing, it was very grey and dull, and my 7-8 year old grandfather was at a table with 3 other boys talking quietly (I was across the room, my big 22 year old self). I recognized him almost immediately, as he looked pretty much like the photos of seen of my Dad as a young boy, and a few times he turned his head I noticed characteristics and resemblances of how he looks and acts as I’ve known him. The people I was there with decided it was time to leave, but I mustered up the courage to ask my young grandfather for confirmation that he was who I thought he was.

“Is your name Brian?”

“Yes, it is.”

“That’s your middle name isn’t it?”

“Not any more!”

“Do you mind if I ask what your first name used to be?”

“Coraline!” (I have NO clue where that came from.. I saw the movie like…a month ago and haven’t really thought about it since. Now that I think about it though, I played Tic-tac-toe/naughts and crosses with a 5 year old girl the other night, only we used pink and blue ‘buttons’ on a board of 9 squares, each containing the picture of a character from the movie. I digress..)

At this point I really had to follow the rest of my group out the door (they were all late teens/adults) but I took the opportunity to snap some more photos of my granddad across the room, he wasn’t watching having returned to the conversation with his friends.

I was led outside, and it was kindof like a gameshow. I’m not sure if I’ve had similar dreams before, or if it really is something I’ve seen on TV or in a movie, but I was to be given challenges to complete either for money or for the people I was working with (they were all teens I think) to live, big difference but I don’t remember which. May have even been both!

It was then that I realized there was snow on the ground, and my first challenge was related to one of the people on my team sliding around the school, I just wasn’t allowed to let him damage any classrooms in any way. You can probably tell by now that while my dreams are fairly specific, there isn’t a lot of detail as to how things happen, I just know they do. I guided the guy between buildings and managed to get him out onto the open sports fields, which I realised too late was a bad thing to do, as the fields themselves were/are a classroom (for PhysEd! Whether that even existed in the 20’s I doubt… We’d also slid along the inside edge of a clearly marked football field). Anyway, it was at this point where the host/gamemaster was walking along the field either with cameramen or henchmen and was about to reveal some kind of information when I woke up.

It was a weird night last night – I wasn’t sleepy, then I was really sleepy so I rolled over to sleep and couldn’t, then I got awake and somewhere in that mix (and a lot of “Are you OK?’s” from Kelly (who was also having a difficult time sleeping)) I fell asleep. Then had to get up at around 8:30 to go let the chickens out (I HATE CHICKENS.. more on them later) and came back and fell asleep awkwardly on the yellow chair, where the dream continued.

So there you have it, my weird dream of weirdness, laugh or analyze, or if you REALLY must, do both 😉

Screw You, Nature

Saturday was the day of arrival for my work permit, and today we had planned to go and get social security numbers sorted etc. That would allow Kelly to file her taxes and I start working on a driving permit, as well as getting the bank out of trouble (they were told last month that they had 12 months to get a SSN from me, which was difficult since I don’t have one!)

We probably would have also stopped in at some of the thrift stores and looked at what cameras they had available. But no! It snowed last night. Great news for school kids because it takes less than an inch to get them out for the day, but not so great since most government buildings are closed! Oh well, try again tomorrow I guess 😉

Brawling with iptables

I’ve been fighting for the last couple of days with iptables on my smoothwall machine, and I’m not sure where to turn next – might need to visit a forum or an IRC channel or something on the subject..

Anyway, at this point I have given telly a second IP, locked the webserver to one side and set up an iptables redirect from port 80 to 3128 (squid) on the other IP only, this tests fine, no problems, perfect.

The problem now lies purely on the smoothwall box.

I keep running in to RTNETLINK errors, and can’t figure out how to get around them.

yoda (root) / $ /usr/sbin/ip route add default via 192.168.1.5 dev eth0 table proxy
RTNETLINK answers: File exists
yoda (root) / $ /usr/sbin/ip route add default via 192.168.1.5 dev eth0 table 200
RTNETLINK answers: File exists
yoda (root) / $ /usr/sbin/ip route add default via 192.168.1.5 dev eth0 table 201
RTNETLINK answers: File exists

I’m pretty sure it’s a kernel module, but basically I’ve been sampling off some instructions I found to make this work and trying to debug as best I can, and it’s just not working:

yoda (root) / $ /sbin/iptables -t mangle -A PREROUTING -j ACCEPT -p tcp –dport 80 -s 192.168.1.5
yoda (root) / $ /sbin/iptables -t mangle -A PREROUTING -j MARK –set-mark 3 -p tcp –dport 80
getsockopt failed strangely: No such file or directory
yoda (root) / $ /usr/sbin/ip rule add fwmark 3 table 2
RTNETLINK answers: Invalid argument
yoda (root) / $ /usr/sbin/ip route add default via 192.168.1.5 dev eth0 table 2
RTNETLINK answers: File exists

I’m lost at this point, and not sure which direction to look next. I found that xt_mark.ko wasn’t loaded and having loaded it it got me to these errors, but I’m not sure which way to go..

Ice Cream

I received an email tonight from a long-time internet friend. Granted, our political views usually differ greatly, and I typically ignore everything he sends me. Occasionally, I draw some kind of feeling from them. Tonight it was frustration, an extension of a discussion I had with Kelly earlier today. Here is the email:

“He is now President and the Bible says to pray for our leaders.”

This was so true!

CIVICS 101 3rd GRADE
From a teacher in the Nashville area

We are worried about “the cow” when it is all about the “Ice Cream”

The most eye-opening civics lesson I ever had was while teaching third grade this year. The presidential election was heating up and some of the children showed an interest. I decided we would have an election for a class president.

We would choose our nominees. They would make a campaign speech and the class would vote.

To simplify the process, candidates were nominated by other class members. We discussed what kinds of characteristics these students should have. We got many nominations and from those, Jamie and Olivia were picked to run for the top spot.

The class had done a great job in their selections. Both candidates were good kids. I thought Jamie might have an advantage because he got lots of parental support. I had never seen Olivia’s mother.

The day arrived when they were to make their speeches Jamie went first. He had specific ideas about how to make our class a better place. He ended by promising to do his very best. Every one applauded. He sat down and Olivia came to the podium.

Her speech was concise. She said, “If you will vote for me, I will give you ice cream.” She sat down. The class went wild. “Yes! Yes! We want ice cream.”

She surely would say more. She did not have to. A discussion followed. How did she plan to pay for the ice cream? She wasn’t sure. Would her parents buy it or would the class pay for it. She didn’t know. The class really didn’t care. All they were thinking about was ice cream.

Jamie was forgotten. Olivia won by a land slide.

Every time Barack Obama opens his mouth he offers ice cream, fifty percent of the people react like nine year olds. They want ice cream. The other fifty percent know they’re going to have to feed the cow and clean up the mess.

So.. now I’m aware I’m being a little hypocritical posting this on the interwebs, but I’ve also addressed him directly and I’m going to publish exactly what I said. Here goes:

The inherent problem with politics is that there are always going to be offers of ice cream, and there is always going to be a need for someone to pay for it. We’ll also be complaining at the cost of the broccolli when it is so desperately needed in the people as well, saying that it doesn’t taste good, irrelevant of the health benefits. Some people are worried about the flavor of the ice cream, and will only support it if it is chocolate, and others will only support if it is vanilla. Some will quote the cost of the ice cream without tax added in order to make it sound more lucrative. Others will attack the ice-cream people, claiming they have backgrounds in the wrong fields and don’t know anything about providing such frozen dairy products.

What is worse is when people lie to others, and claim a politician is offering yoghurt or cheese instead, and instead of actually doing some useful complaining, they make petty emails with bad analogies and forward them to everyone in their address books.

See, this is a democratic country, and while it may be more fun to spread rumor or sow seeds of doubt in the minds of the people, it would be more productive to write to those in power and exercise the democratic rights that residents and citizens hold by telling them what their subjects think and want of them. We can complain to each other all we like, but it’s spitting in the wind unless the right people hear it. This is precisely how minority groups come across as majorities, because their people write to newspapers, they write to senators and congressmen, and they get the laws changed in their favor. The majority, on the other hand, sit back and write emails to each other complaining about the other side, how silly or stupid they are, and complain further when ‘the other side’ makes progress in government, wondering how something like that could ever happen.

I’m told that every letter written to a newspaper or a government official represents the views of roughly 10,000 other people who weren’t prepared to write for one reason or another. In a country such as this, your opinion is only worth the time you take to voice it to the right people, and convincing like-minded people to do the same. Instead of relishing in the freedom you have to bash government among friends, it would be a more intelligent thing to do to relish the freedom you have to convince your representatives in government to reflect your views among their peers, to do your part in making democracy work. It shouldn’t end at the voting booth, and if you disagree with decisions being made by government, pick up a pen and a pad, and write to those in power to voice your complaints. If you can’t do something so simple as writing a letter, you don’t deserve to complain when decisions are made against your views. Then again, if you don’t like it, you’re free to leave 😉

zEkEy

Let me explain myself.. In this case it isn’t so much that I disagree with the anti-Obama statements – I don’t really have much of an opinion anymore. What I have a problem with is when people think that forwarding anti-[insertgrouporindividual] emails around their friends is being productive and actually changes anything. Heres a wake-up call: It doesn’t. If you want to change a church, talk to the pastor. If you want to change a classroom, talk to a teacher. If you want to change a store, talk to the manager. It only makes logical sense that if you want to change government that you talk to a government representative. Yes, this is America, governed by the people for the people – but telling Joe the Plumber about your problems with government is going to fix them about as well as telling a brick wall. If you can forward an email with your complaints, you can write a letter to your senator. You can copy that letter and send it to your congressman. You can copy it a second time and send it to your local newspaper. If you have a problem with the way the government is governing you have three choices: You can talk to them and argue your points, you can move to a country that has views you agree with, or you can do nothing and live with it. And forwarding emails around with silly analogies is about equivalent to the last option. Let me be blunt. If you can’t be bothered complaining to the right people, you don’t deserve to be listened to by anyone.